anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
