We're like a lot better than the average bears
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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