You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
