Can i not drive my cunt home
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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