Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
17 year olds will be the death of me.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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