remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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