cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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