Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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