And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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