hell yes lets make some ravioli
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
