Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
