HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
