i may or may not be watching the land before time
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
