Whats the glycemic index on semen?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
