dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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