and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Randomize
