people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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