All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
