I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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