It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
