Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
porn star boner night. come get it.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
