words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
