did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
