how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
