she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
