He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
