so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
