Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
