why didn't you poke me back
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
In America we eat man semen.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
