So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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