just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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