Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
