He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
