I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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