i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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