We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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