Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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