He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
