today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize
