WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
