you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I am mentally ready for anal.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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