Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
