You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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