There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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