i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
