quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
