I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
