i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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