she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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