Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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